Consistency is my hobgoblin (rollick) wrote,
Consistency is my hobgoblin
rollick

  • Mood:

Do not want? Maybe want for laugh at.

Well, this has been a day for what-the-fuck communiqués at work:
  • I got one of the odder e-mails I've received in a while:
    I feel that you should write an article on Opera Disappearing. She is on magazines all the time because of her weight loss, what if she lost it all, or instead of losing 100 pounds, she is not 100g? Her audience would have to use magnifying glasses to enjoy her, and the book club had to start using light weight pamphlets instead of books.

    The email address is from "belgianperson @ [site.com]," so I momentarily thought there was some Belgian superstar out there named Opera Disappearing. C'mon, like that would be any odder than "Lady Gaga"? Googling "Opera Disappearing" didn't get me anywhere interesting, but searching for "Opera Disappearing weight loss" caused the Internet to say "You obviously mean OPRAH, dumbfuck." Oh. Well, that makes the book-club reference a little clearer, though there's still no inherent sense to the rest of it. Also, worrying about Oprah's weight loss in this day and age? Isn't this email at least a decade behind the times?
     
  • And I just got a VERY!!! EXCITED!!! AND EMPHATIC!!! press release!!! from the makers of something called "PeekaBoo Tranny!" This is an iPhone app that randomly goes through your stored photos and "adds photobomb overlays of various fierce trannies in hilarious poses," which of course gives you "a tranny surprise in every shot!" The app is only a buck, but apparently you have to buy each tranny separately. But it's worth it, because "The iPhone user will never take another sad, solemn photo again. The PeekaBoo Tranny app will add sass and sexiness to any photo you take!"

    Has it come to this? Do I live in a world that wants this? (Or even that wants a good version of this, since the actual version of this produces what looks like terrible, incompetent, lazy Photoshop kludges.) Also, might it be possible to convince the publicists behind this to stop saying "tranny" so much?
     
  • And finally, the mail brought the usual pile of slush-pile books, including a memoir about unemployment. And I picked it up, and out fell a torn-off sheet of looseleaf notebook paper, covered with a large drawing of a misshapen, very hairy, very veiny set of male genitals, and the scrawled words "MADE YOU LOOK!" Thanks, memoirist guy. You clearly have a lot of time on your hands, what with the unemployment and all. Glad to see you're using it productively. Now get back to emailing people about your concerns over Opera's weight-loss.
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  • 18 comments

  • A matter of perspective

    cassielsander: I was talking to someone today who only knows Timothy Dalton from Hot Fuzz. off_coloratura: This is someone…

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